Tag Archives: betrayal


Crawling, hands muddy in the undergrowth

Confusion, disorientation, trembling at the life of oath

Choking on my tears

Strangled by the neck by the flooding fears

Looking back at the words I write refect my misery

Life was sweet, now so bitterly

Awaiting the courage to do the deed

Nothing is the same anymore when I planted that seed

This place feels so distant

Anxiety ties the noose

Struggling to stride in the realm of freedom, set loose

Death is coming for us all

Observing the world around me, craving to fall into the previous normal

Silently choking back the flood

Monotonous torment written in blood

Sorrows too thick to suppress

Chaos and in a dark hole for years, I’m a mess

The sun is out yet I cannot see

Body withdrawn from all life’s chi

Waking and dreaming in hell

If only I could sleep forever

That’s the dream I tell

Staring at walls numb and fogged

Sleep deprivation smothers me in a thick dust of smog

If only I could taste the sweet nectar of life

And squeeze every essence, holding it in my pocket in strife

We can’t turn back time

They say things will get better, to me a distant chime

I’ve heard it for years and it just gets more dark

The horror more deep and the pain more stark

Carrying the burdens of guilt of failed friendships

This illness I have chips

Away at the things I could hold

The story of horror is yet to unfold

Haunted by images no young girl should have had to witness

Chained by the fibromyalgia pain

Perfecting the act of normal, inside this carcass insane

A clown world

A zombie knowing all these spiritual terms and truths and experiences

Yet unable to live them out

Muffled in screams, a hand over the shout

I cried for help, no one could hear

I did my best and I am naked and bone, all that’s left

And a clown life

I tried and it didn’t work, I put down the knife.

~DiosRaw 31/03/21